Twilight Princess: Retold
by Zehro the Demon Assassin
Summary: Our latest addition to the Retold family has our hero, Link, experiencing close encounters with fat Moblin generals, sumo-wrestling Gorons, and memory-forgetting best friends. Link meets up with a Twili imp named Midna and goes on an adventure with her to look for artifacts called Fused Shadows. As this is happening, Link's friends are kidnapped and he is forced to save them, too
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I am officially cut off from about 99.9% of my Zelda games, unfortunately. As a result, Ocarina of Time Retold, Majora's Mask Retold, A Link Between Worlds Retold and Wind Waker Retold are going to be put on hold for a while. That being said, I do have some GOOD news, though. The other day, I found my old copy of Twilight Princess. Seeing as how I still have a Wii, I thought that I'd play it and write a story about it while you guys wait for updates on the other stories.**

**What?**

**My other stories? Which ones?**

**Oh THOSE ones. Well, they're on halt also, seeing as how I'm dealing with writer's block for them.**

**Anyways, now that that little update is out of the way, welcome to Twilight Princess: Retold. This time, we delve into something a little more darker in the Zelda franchise. A tale of love, loss, betrayal, violence, war, and inter-dimensional beings called the Twili. You've already heard the telling of this story through a video game and from many other FanFic Authors, but you haven't heard this story yet.**

**Join our unlikely hero, Link, in an all out amazing quest, accompanied by a strange being of the Twilight Realm, a bratty usurper king, a werewolf, possibly a vampire somewhere in there, NO references to the movie "Twilight," and, of course, monkeys!**

**Now let me just get those two here... *click***

***Link and Zelda appear out of thin air in their Ocarina of Time outfits***

**Link: What the... where are we?**

**Zelda: I was just in the middle of picking out my fanciest robes!**

**Zehro: *snap***

***Link and Zelda are changed into their Twilight Princess outfits***

**Zelda: ...this works, too. *looks down* Just wish the bust was a little bigger, though.**

**Link: Why are we talking about your bust, Zelda?**

**Zelda: Well, other than the fact that this is a T-Rated game, just look at it.**

**Link: I don't wanna look at your- woah...**

**Zelda: Do you think it's misshapen?**

**Link: N-No, not at all...**

**Zelda: Really? *holds up bust of her head* Because I think they could have gotten the nose a little straighter...**

**Zehro: All innuendos aside... are you two ready to start the story?**

**Link: Just one question: You said you had no access to your Zelda games, right? Other than Twilight Princess? Well, what happened to the other ones?**

**Zehro: Too painful to talk about...**

**Link: Well, what about the Let's Plays on-**

**Zehro: That defeats the purpose. Now, enough questions, let's get this sta-**

**Navi: Hey guys!**

**Malon: Zehro! Link! Zelda! Long time no see!**

**Link: What're you guys-**

**Zehro: Save that for the end of the Prologue, now let's-**

**Navi: Hey, where's Vicky?**

**Zehro: DISCLAIMER!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda series in any way at all.**

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><p>{<em>Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Retold<em>}

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Tell me... do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?

They say it's the only time when our world intersects with theirs...

...the only time we can feel the lingering regrets of spirits who have left our world.

That is why loneliness always pervades the hour of twilight...

But enough talk of sadness... I have a favor to ask you, Link...

Link looked over towards the middle aged man who was talking to him. "What is it, Rusl?"

"You see... I was supposed to deliver something to the Royal Family of Hyrule the day after tomorrow... It was a task set to me by the mayor, but..."

"Are you saying you want me to go in your place?" Link asked. Rusl nodded. "If you would... you've, ahem, never been to Hyrule before, have you?" Link shook his head. Rusl looked back at Faron Spring. "In the kingdom of Hyrule, there is a great castle. Around it is Castle Town, a community far bigger than our little village."

Link's eyes widened. "A place... bigger than Ordon?" Rusl nodded. "Much. And far bigger than Hyrule is the rest of the world that the gods have created." Rusl smiled at him. "You should look upon it all with your own eyes." Link's eyes lit up as he looked toward the sky. "The world... one day, I'll see it all..." Rusl gave him another warm smile and stood up. "It's getting late. We should head back to the village. I'll talk to the mayor about this matter."

Link nodded and stood back up with Rusl. He grabbed his horse, Epona, by the reins and walked alongside her with Rusl. They walked through the field near Faron Woods, across the bridge with the gaping chasm that would probably hurt like hell to fall all the way down and past the Ordon Spring where Link and his best friend would play as children.

They stopped just as they arrived at Link's house. Link took Epona over to her little corner where she slept for the night and rejoined Rusl. Near the entrance to the village, two people walked up to greet them: Uli and Colin, Rusl's family. Link waved Rusl off as he left with his family. "I'll see you tomorrow, Rusl." Rusl nodded and smiled at Link. "You too, Link." And with that, Rusl took his wife and son with him back to their home in Ordon Village. Colin gave Link a warm smile before they left completely. Link returned the smile, then climbed up into his house.

Opening the door, he took a deep breath and climbed all the way upstairs to where his bed was. He laid down and covered himself up, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep...

**HEEEEEEEEY, LIIIIIIIIINK!**

...for about ten seconds.

Link's eyes snapped open as he heard those words ring through his head. He sighed and sat up in his bed, looking out of the window. "Link! I need your help with the goats!" Link groaned and walked over towards the window, poking his head out to see a man at around his thirties. "I already took care of the goats, Fado! I'm exhausted!"

"Oh come on, Link! Please?! I can't do it without your help." Link sighed. He was fully aware that Fado could take care of the goats. For a little while. After that, the goats were pretty much unresponsive to him. "Fine, I'll help with the goats. Just give me a minute." He disappeared from the window and left Fado out there for a little bit. That's when Fado noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, where's Epona?" he shouted up.

Link appeared in the doorway and backflipped off of his doorstep. "What do you mean 'Where's Epona?' She's right-" That's when Link noticed it too. "-there?" Fado shrugged. You think she could've wandered off?" Link shook his head. "Not on her own, no."

That's when he saw something near where Epona was at. He kneeled down and saw footprints leading towards the direction of the Ordon Spring. He knew exactly what happened. "It's nothing to worry about, Fado. I'll meet you at the ranch." Fado gave him a weird look. "You sure? I mean, cause if she's lost-"

"She's not lost. She was borrowed." Another confused look from Fado. "Uh... okay... I guess I'll see you at the ranch." Fado took off one way and Link took off another.

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><p>Link slowly walked into Ordon Spring, careful not to disturb Epona and the girl next to her. The girl was brushing Epona's mane and washing her body. "There you go, girl... all clean..." The horse neighed happily. Link couldn't help but smile. He slowly walked up to them, still not letting them know he's there. "Now come on," the girl said to the Epona, grabbing hold of her reigns. "Let's get you back to Link. I'm sure he'll love to-"<p>

"-see you making off with my horse?" Link finished for her. She shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't say 'make off' per say, but more like-" She stopped right then and there and turned around to see Link standing there with an amused smile. "Oh," she said, before smiling warmly. "Hi, Link." Link walked forward and hugged her. "Next time, Ilia, please tell me you're taking my horse before, y'know, taking my horse?"

Ilia chuckled a bit. "Well, I just thought I'd brush her up a bit before you went off to bed." Link's smile faded a bit. "Well, you're probably gonna have to brush her up again. Fado needs me to wrangle the goats. Again." Ilia's smile faded as well. "Again? I thought you were done for the day."

"I thought so, too," Link told her. "But I guess he had more in store for me." Ilia looked over to Epona and lightly petted her. "Please be easy on Epona. She's a girl too, y'know." Link nodded. "Of course I will." Link walked over to the patch of horse-grass that was growing near there, picked up one of them and blew into it. He played Epona's song on the horse-grass, making the horse nudge up to him as he played it.

Ilia smiled. "I think it's amazing how you're able to play that song on a piece of grass." Link smiled. "It just takes practice." He climbed onto Epona, then offered a hand to Ilia. "Do you need a ride?" Ilia nodded. "My, my, what a gentleman you are." Link laughed nervously. "Heheh, you know me." He helped Ilia onto Epona and the both of them rode out of the spring and into Ordon Village.

He stopped right outside of her house. "Well, that was fast," she said. "But we're right next to the village, so it's expected." She hopped off of Epona and walked up to her door. "I'll... see you later, Link." Link nodded. "You too." Ilia gave him one last warm smile before disappearing into her house. Link let out a sigh and rode up to Ordon Ranch.

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><p>"Hey, Link, you found Epona!" Link nodded. "Yeah, it wasn't that hard to find her." Fado gave him a sly smirk. "Ilia?" Link nodded. "Ilia." Fado scratched the back of his head. "Geez, Link, if I didn't know better, I'd say that you and Ilia were-"<p>

That's when Link gave Fado a stare that made his blood run cold. "...uh, right, forget it. Anyways, sorry to get you over here in such a hurry, Link. The goats have been getting awful skittish lately. They won't listen to a word I say. Sorry to ask, bud, but how's about you an' Epona herd 'em into the barn real quick? We ain't got too much time, so-"

Link nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'll round them up for you." Link reared Epona back and started off towards the biggest pack of goats he could find. They all scattered as he approached them. Link sighed and turned around, herding two goats into the barn. Then two more. Then two more. Then another one. He got knocked off of his horse a couple of times by a few angry goats, but nothing too bad. He eventually got them all inside of the barn and rode back up to Fado for his reward.

Fado put his hands on his hips. "Link, Epona, much obliged to the both of ya." Link nodded. "No problem, Fado."

"Y'know... I can cover everythin' tomorrow without having to trouble ya, so just sit back and relax." Link's eyes widened. "Y-you mean... I get... a day off?" Fado smiled and nodded. "You sure do. Now, if you want, I can set up a couple of fences for you to jump ov-"

Link wasted no time darting out of the ranch with Epona. Fado scratched his head. "Or you can head out... that's good too."

Fado locked up the ranch, still hearing Link's screams of happiness ring throughout the air. In fact, everyone could hear it. "WOOHOO! I GOT A DAY OFF, EVERYONE! I AM THE LUCKIEST ORDONIAN ALIVE! WOOOHOOOO!"

**Zehro: Aaaaaaaaaaand scene.**

**Navi: This looks promising...**

**Malon: Wait... so, you mean... Link has... a different love interest... than me?**

**Navi: Looks like it.**

**Malon: ...YES! OH THANK THE GOOD GODDESSES ABOVE! This calls for a victory nap! *dashes for nearest couch***

**Zehro: *grabs her shirt* Not yet, Malon. I got a little job for you and Navi.**

**Malon: ...what?**

**Navi: Say what?**

**Zehro: Malon, I need you to sing a sad song during nighttime in Hyrule Field.**

**Malon: ...okay?  
><strong>

**Zehro: And Navi, I need you to be the cursor for the Wii Remote thing...**

**Navi: ...the hell's a Wii Remote?**

**Zehro: Really? You're a fairy who knows everything about everything and hangs out in the very forums of the internet itself and you have no idea what a Wii Remote is?**

**Navi: Hmmmmmm... nope.**

**Zehro: Whatever. Anyways...**

**Link: Hey, that wasn't too bad.**

**Zelda: Yeah, it's not so bad. Granted, I'm not in it, but still not too bad.**

**Link: I think that does it for the first chapter.**

**Zehro: Yeah, that should be good. Now, let's close it out.**

**Link: Favorite, follow, review or all three-**

**Zehro: Ah, ah, ah, not like that.**

**Link: What?**

**Zehro: CUE THE ACTION PACKED OUTRO!**

**...**

**...**

**...**

***awkward silence***

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Zehro: ...what do you mean we don't have the budget for it?!**

**Zelda: ...regular outro?**

**Zehro: Regular outro...**

**Zelda: Favorite, follow, review or all three. Thanks for reading and tune in next time for the next chapter.**

**Link: And here's to Zehro having us all killed in a freak accident with a car.**

**Zehro: Link, shut the hell up before I rip out your f-**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Welcome back to Twilight Princess Retold. When we left off, Fado had just given Link the day off. Cue Link darting off before Fado could set up the fences for him.**

**Link's asleep right now, so no intro this chapter. Let's get started.**

_Chapter 2: Childhood Shenanigans_

Link stretched his arms above his head, stripped down and plopped into bed. He let out a sigh. "Aaah, now I can just kick back and take it easy tomorrow. First thing to do... sleep in." He closed his eyes, covered up and drifted off into sleep, eager to enjoy his day off.

**{Seven Hours Later}**

The sun peaked over the horizon, cascading a faint light over the small village of Ordon. Sunlight shone through the windows of every house in the village... except one. The only house that wasn't directly in the village: Link's house. Link had all of his windows shut, so that he was in total darkness. He didn't want ANYTHING to wake him up. This is exactly what he wanted. No work, no goat herding, no annoying, little village kids who would go up to his house at the crack of dawn and try and wake him-

"Hey! Link! Wake up! It's morning already!"

Link's eyes slowly opened as he heard a voice coming outside. He let out a sigh. "Stupid narrator... tempting fate..." He covered his head with his pillow, trying to drown out the other kids, but to no avail. "Come on, Link!" came the voice again. "It's your day off!" "All the more reason to stay in bed..." he thought to himself. He started to hear thumps coming from his window.

Outside, a small boy crossed his arms and turned to the other two kids that were standing there with him. "Either of you got any more rocks?" The girl of the group looked around the ground and found nothing. "Sorry, Talo. I don't see anything." The youngest, and possibly weirdest, kid of the group walked over towards a tree and found a large rock. "Here, use this," he said in an emotionless voice. Talo took the rock from his brother. "Thanks, Malo." Talo aimed the rock at the window and shouted "Hey Link! Wake up!" before he threw it.

Link swung open the window right before the rock hit. "What do you guys wan-"

**WHAP!**

Link could hear bells ringing in his head as he was struck in the head by the large rock. He stumbled backwards from the window and fell down to the ground floor. From outside, the kids could hear a sickening crack, followed by a painful scream. Each one of them, with the exception of Malo, cringed at hearing the sound. A couple minutes later, Link appeared in the doorway of his house, looking a little annoyed. He slowly climbed down the ladder, having the kids greet him as he approached.

"Link! Link! Didja hear?!" Talo shouted. Link shook his head. "No, but did you hear my spine shatter?" Talo continued on like he hadn't heard Link. "They're selling a slingshot at the store right now! A SLINGSHOT!" Link gave him a blank stare. "_Talo, the last thing that a kid like you would need is a slingshot,_" He thought to himself.

"I wonder how powerful it is," Malo thought out loud. "I need it... I must try it...

The girl rolled her eyes. "Talo, if you and Malo want it so badly, then just buy it at my parent's shop."

Talo narrowed his eyes at the girl. "Do you see any rupees in my hands? I can't afford that thing! C'mon, Beth, can't you just loan it to us for a while?"

Beth narrowed her eyes at him, too. "You know I'd get in trouble for that! If you two want it, just save up your allowances or something!"

Malo sighed. "But our allowances are terrible... aw, I wish I was born into a family with a slingshot instead of one with a water wheel..."

Link slowly stepped away from the group of children and went into the village. He figured that if he was gonna be up all day on his day off, he should at least spend it with his best friend.

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><p>Link slowly made his way towards the Mayor's house before he was stopped by someone. "Hey, mornin' Link!" Link hesitantly turned around to see a middle-aged man waving at him. He put on a fake smile and waved. "Good morning, Hanch." "Got a day off of work today, m'boy?" Link nodded. Hanch shook his head. "Not me. The wife's been hassling me... today's the day we have to restock our store. Look! See?"<p>

Hanch pointed up towards the beehive on top of the tall tree that was his house. "Yeah, some Ordon bees built themselves a fine nest up there and I was thinking about knocking it down." Link shook his head. "I think that's a pretty bad idea." Hanch sighed. "My wife's in a pretty bad mood ever since we lost our cat yesterday. At the very least, I need to bring something home to her..." He paused. "I'm sorry, m'boy. I didn't mean to hold you up. I'm sure you got a lot of stuff to do." Link put on another fake smile. "It's alright. I enjoyed talking with you. Oh well, gotta go, bye."

Link darted off before Hanch could say anything. He kept making his way to the mayor's house until he bumped into Uli near the small bridge. "Good morning, Uli," he said. Uli slightly turned around. "Oh... um... good morning to you, Link..." she said quietly. Link always knew her to be the... well, the shy type. She was always a bit quiet, even when it came to people she knew well. "Um... if you're looking for my husband, he took his sword and left earlier this morning..." Link nodded to her. "Thanks for the info, Uli."

He started to walk off. "Um... can I ask something of you, Link?" Uli said. Link turned back towards her. "Have you seen a cradle floating around here?" "Cradle?" Link repeated. Uli nodded. "It's a baby's cradle made of finely woven tree bark." Link shook his head. "I'm sorry. I haven't seen it." Uli sighed. "Oh... such misfortune... how far could it have drifted, I wonder..." Link put his hand on Uli's shoulder. "I'll keep an eye out for it, though." Uli smiled at Link. "Thank you. That means a lot to me." Link waved Uli off before heading back on the trail to-

"Hey Link!" came another voice. Link stopped in his tracks again and looked towards the source of the voice. "Hey, Jaggle," he shouted back. "Your voice carries well, as usual. Hey, come up here! I gotta tell ya something!" Link shook his head a bit. "I kinda need to... alright fine." Link climbed up the vines and met Jaggle on top of the rock pillar. "Hey, so check this out," Jaggle said, pointing over to the back of his house. "You know Sera from the general store, right?" Link nodded. "Well, isn't that her cat over there?"

Link looked over to where Jaggle was pointing. Sure enough, that was Sera's cat. "He's just been sitting there, having a staring contest with the creek. You don't suppose he's trying to catch a fish, do you? Haha! A cat can't catch no fish!" Link stared at him blankly for a second before fake laughing. "Yeah, that sure is funny. Alright, I gotta-"

"Actually, that's not what I wanted to tell ya. I wanted to show ya something. See that grass growing over there on that rock?" Jaggle pointed over to the patch of grass that was in the shape of an eagle. "Haven't I seen you whistling that stuff before?" Link nodded. "I thought it was pretty rare to see it growing in a place like that, so I thought I'd let you know." Link nodded to him. "Thanks, Jaggle. Okay, I need to get to Il-"

"How's about you blow into it for me?" Jaggle asked. Link forced a strained smile and hopped over to the grass. He picked up a piece of it and blew into it. The song of the hawk rang throughout the village as a hawk swooped down and landed on Link's arm. A lightbulb went off in Link's head. "_I have an idea._"Link aimed the hawk towards the beehive above Hanch's house. "Hey Hanch!" Hanch turned around to see Link on the pillar. "You owe me one!" Link sent the hawk flying towards the beehive, knocking it down and spilling bee larvae all over the place. Hanch turned back to Link. "Thanks, Link! I really DO owe you one!"

Link dropped off of the pillar and finally made his way towards the Mayor's house, seeing as how he had nothing else to distra- "Hey, Link!" Hanch called out. "Do you mind talking to my wife? I'm sure you can do something to cheer her up." Link let out an exasperated sigh and went inside the store.

"Sera?"

Sera let out a moan, not noticing that Link was there even though he was talking to her. "Ohhhhh..."

"Sera?"

"Awwww..."

"Sera? Hey, it's me. Link."

Sera looked over towards Link. "Oh... if it isn't young Link... Welcome, m'dear..."

"Are you okay? You're not looking so good."

"You... you didn't happen to see my little cat out there, did you?"

Link nodded. "I did, actually. I saw him over by Jaggle's hou-"

"He ate the fish we were going to have for supper last night, and I gave him a good scolding..." she interrupted, not hearing what he said. "...but then he went out and hasn't returned..."

"_So that's why he's staring at the_ creek," Link thought. "_He's trying to replace the fish that he ate._"

"I'm so fraught with worry for him... I've exhausted myself..."

"I know where your cat is, Sera. I can get him back for you."

Sera didn't even acknowledge him. She was too upset. Link just left the shop, ready to catch the cat.

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><p>Link sat down against a rock. "So, in order to get the cat, I need to get a fish. And to get a fish, I need a fishing pole. And I don't think it'd be appropriate to ask Uli for something while she's upset, so I should probably find out where that basket of hers went. So, I'll give her the basket when I find it, get the fishing rod, catch a fish for the cat, herd him back to Sera's shop then buy the slingshot." Link paused for a second. "...which I don't have enough money to buy, probably. Dang it! This is a LOT of trouble just to get some child's toy."<p>

Link sat there in silence for a little bit until he heard something. A screeching noise. Link climbed onto the rock, passing Jaggle and jumped until he got to the last pillar. He saw the source of the screeching on top of a jagged pillar. It was a monkey. And in it's hands... was a woven basket. Link saw that there was some hawk grass growing on the pillar right next to him. Cue the lightbulb going off in his head. He grabbed the hawk grass, blew into it and summoned another hawk.

Link launched a hawk towards the monkey, to where the hawk grabbed the basket and brought it back to Link. Link hopped from pillar to pillar until he dropped down onto the ground below him. He ran all the way to where Uli was standing, even though she didn't notice him. He slowed down and put the basket behind his back before he got up to her. "Hey, Uli," he called out. Uli turned to him. "Yes Link?"

"There's a pun that's supposed to go with this, but I can't think about it for the life of me. So, here's your basket," Link told her, holding out the basket towards her. She gasped. "Oh, Link! You found it! Did you go through all that trouble for me?" Link smiled. "It's the least I could do, Uli." "Oh, I have something for you. Please, follow me." Link did as he was told and followed Uli to her house, carrying the basket while they were going up there.

Uli turned around and smiled at Link. "Thank you very much, Link," she said as she sat down in one of the chairs on the porch. "I almost forgot, I was supposed to give you this." She reached next to her and handed Link a fishing rod. "Wow... this looks really nice, Uli." She smiled. "Thanks. It's a little... unpolished. My son made it under Rusl's instruction. You can use it, if you'd like." Link smiled. "Thank you, Uli. I'll use this right now."

Thanking her one last time, Link ran to where Sera's cat was. "_All I gotta do is catch a fish. Just catch a fish and the cat will grab it. And... maybe it'll go back home._"

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><p><strong>So Link went fishing. I'm sure you don't want to hear how boring it was to wait there until a fish latched onto the pole and Link was able to get it out. I'm sure you also wouldn't want to hear how long it took for Link to get the cat to take it back to the house. It's safe to say that Link was able to get Sera's cat back, putting her in a happy mood again. However, Link had no money to buy the slingshot, so he was kindly removed from the shop. So, without anything else to do, Link finally decided to go pay his best friend a visit.<strong>

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><p>"Morning, Mayor Bo!" Link called out.<p>

The mayor turned to him. "Oh. Morning, Link. How are you?" Link frowned. "Busy, as usual." Bo also frowned. "On your day off?" Link nodded. "Yep. I was woken up early by the kids, they guilt tripped me into going to get a slingshot for them, which I couldn't get because Sera was too upset because she lost her cat. I had to help Hanch with a nest full of Ordon Bees, I got Uli's baby cradle back for her because it was stolen by a monkey, I used the fishing pole that Colin made for me to catch a fish so that Sera's cat would nab it and go back home, so I went back to the shop since Sera was in a good mood, but I didn't have enough money for the slingshot. So, since I had nothing else to do, I figured I'd pop in and say hi before you don't see me at all today."

Mayor Bo blinked a few times before responding. "Wow." Link nodded. "Yeah. So, is Ilia home?" Bo nodded. "Yes, she is, but she's very busy today, unfortunately." Link felt a little piece of him die inside when he heard that, though he tried not to make it obvious. "Busy? With what?" Bo sighed. "Well, she's studying so that she can become mayor of Ordon one day. I'm not going to be around forever, and she knows that. That's why she's studying now, so in case something DOES happen to me, she'll be prepared."

Link blinked a few times. "Wow... and what a perfect timing, too." Bo frowned a bit. "I'm sorry, Link. I know this is one of your only days off and that the timing is pretty inconvenient, but there are some things that just have to be done." Link lifted a hand. "Oh, of course. I know. It just stinks, y'know? Ilia and I barely get to see each other since I was put to work at the ranch..."

"Oh! Link," Bo exclaimed, hoping to steer the conversation another way. "I almost forgot. Rusl came by and talked to me about you going to Hyrule in his place. Now, I want you to know that it's entirely optional, but you may go if you want. Nobody is forcing you." Link shook his head. "It's fine, mayor. I'd be happy to go." He turned his head towards the sky. "I'd like to see what's out there in Hyrule. I want to see the world for everything that it is." Bo smiled. "On behalf of everyone in the village, we all wish you luck on your task." Link smiled. "Thank you, Mayor Bo."

**"Woah! A goat got loose! Watch out!"**

Everyone turned their heads towards the ranch as they heard Fado's voice ring throughout the village. All the villagers froze as they saw a rampant goat charge down the hill at full speed. And directly in it's path was none other than Link and the Mayor. The mayor stood directly in the goats path and crouched down. "I'll handle this," he said confidently. The goat rammed Bo in the stomach, knocking the wind out of the old man and making him keel over.

The goat continued into the village, thrashing in rage, scaring everyone half to death. Link ran after the goat and got directly in it's path. He planted his feet firmly into the ground and gripped the goat by it's horns. The goat put up a good fight, catching Link off guard a bit, but Link increased his grip on the horns, swung him around and threw him in the ground in front of him.

The village cheered as Link dusted off his hands and herded the goat back up to the ranch. He heard Fado shouting his thanks towards him. Link, along with a few other villagers, helped prop the mayor up. He struggled to catch his breath. "Thank you. I really am getting on in years..." Link patted the mayor on his back. "Ah, it'll be fine. You're just rusty at goat-wrangling." The mayor turned towards the ranch. "That Fado... I worry about him handling our livestock. It's a good thing we have you around, Link. If it were up to me, I'd give you a raise. You know how to treat the goats right."

Link felt a chime go off in his head. "Could you repeat that, please?" The mayor turned to Link. "I said it's a good thing that we have you around."

"No, no, the other thing..."

"I worry about Fado handling our livestock?"

"No, no, after that..."

"You know how to treat the goats right?"

"Before that..."

"Uh... Ilia is busy today?"

Link let out a long sigh. It was clear that the mayor was lacking a bit in the knowledge department. "No, no, that part about the raise."

"Oh! Right. Well, if I was in charge of the ranch, I'd give you a raise. But I'm not. So I can't. I'm sorry, Link."

Link shook his head. "It's fine, mayor... but that DOES give me an idea."

* * *

><p>"You want me to give you your paycheck early?"<p>

Link nodded. "If it's not too much of a hassle with you, I'd like to collect all the earnings I've made this week."

Fado stared back at Link in confusion. "But, you've only worked a couple of days. Are you sure?" Link nodded again. "Yes, I'm sure." Fado shrugged. "Well, okay... I suppose it's not too much of a hassle... I'll just pay you a little more when it's time for your next paycheck." Fado searched through his pockets, trying to find his wallet.

"So, how's your day going so far? Y'know, besides stopping the goat."

Link scratched the back of his head. "It's going well, I suppose. I mean, the kids woke me up early this morning-"

"Kids?"

"Y'know, Talo, Malo, and Beth."

"Oh, those kids."

"Anyways, they woke me up and told me about a slingshot-"

"Oh, yeah, the one that Sera is selling down at the store, right?"

"Yeah, that one."

Fado chuckled. "The last thing a kid like Talo needs is a slingshot."

Link laughed a bit too. "I know, right?"

"So, that's why you need the money, huh? You're buying a slingshot for the kids?"

Link bursted into laughter. "Heck no! I'm gonna buy it and rub it in their faces!"

Fado stopped for a second and gave Link the strangest look. Link patted his shoulder. "I'm only joking. I'm not that cruel. _As far as he knows..._" Fado slowly nodded. "Yeah... uh-huh... So, uh, what else have you done today?"

Link scratched the back of his head. "Well, I helped Hanch knock down a bee's nest, I got Uli's cradle back from a monkey, I brought Sera's cat back home, and... that's when the mayor got rammed by a goat."

Fado let out a whistle. "Yikes... that's a lot of stuff... so, did you see Ilia today?"

"Eh, I wanted to, but-"

"She was busy studying to become mayor, right?"

Link blinked. "How did you-"

"Come on, Link. Everyone in the village knows that Ilia is gonna take after her father as mayor of the village. And she has to crack down on studying, too."

"Oh. Right. I knew that."

"Buuuuuut... other than that, it's obvious that you tried to go visit her because you two are best friends and, since this is your day off, it'd only be natural for you to visit her. Also, when I mentioned her, I saw that look in your eyes that said that a part of you died inside when you found out she was too busy to hang out with you."

Another blink from Link. "Uhhh..."

"Anyways, here's your pay: 30 Rupees."

Fado handed Link's paycheck to him. "Go get that slingshot for those kids." Link smiled. "Thanks, Fado." He shook his boss's hand, then made his way back to the village.

* * *

><p>Link walked up the path to his house, patting his satchel. "<em>Oh, man, they're gonna flip when they see what I got in store for the-<em>"

"Link?"

Link immediately stopped as soon as he heard someone calling out to him. "Just in time, my boy," Rusl said as he patted him on the shoulder. "I just delivered something to your room." Link's eyes widened, as he knew exactly what it was. "You mean... you fixed it?!" Rusl nodded. "Yes, I have. Next time, be a bit more careful when you use it." Link nodded frantically. "I will! I will!" Rusl chuckled a bit. "Have a good rest of the day," he told Link as he walked back to his house.

Link wasted no time running past the kids, climbing up the ladder and opening the door to his house. In the middle of the room was a giant chest; one that told Link that Rusl couldn't have delivered it all by himself, seeing as how you need to climb a ladder to get inside his house. But he didn't question it. Link kicked the chest open and reached in to pull out...

**DA DA DA DAAAAAA!**

"YES!" Link shouted as he pulled out a wooden sword. "He actually did it! He fixed her!" Link swung his sword around a bit, getting a good grip on it. "Ohohoho, man. It's been WAY too long since I used this thing! I can't believe it broke so easily, though..." He shrugged. "I guess that's what I get for repeatedly slashing at a stone wall... why did I even do that? I mean, what sense would it make to swing a sword at a wall? It's not like something would be behind it..."

A couple minutes passed before Link realized what he had to do again. "Oh, right! I need to go to the kids."

After exiting his house and doing a backflip off of his porch, Link approached the three kids that, for some reason, were still standing outside of his house. "Hey guys, check it out!" he said as he pulled out the slingshot. All three of the kids let out a gasp of surprise. "WOAH!" Talo cried. "Link has a slingshot!"

"Wow, Link..." Beth cooed. "You had enough money to buy it?"

"Lemme see! Lemme see!" Talo ran up and snatched the slingshot from Link's hands. "Talo!" Beth shouted before Link could. "I just wanna try it out," Talo whined, before pulling back the rubber band. Before he could let go, though, his grip on the base loosened, sending the weapon flying into his face.

"OW!" Talo held his nose, where the slingshot smacked him. Beth put her hands on her hips. "Serves your right for stealing..." Talo stood back up and looked down at the slingshot. "Man... this thing is a piece of junk!" he said as he kicked it away from him. Link slowly bent down and picked it back up while Beth scolded Talo, saying "Weren't you saying not too long ago that you HAD to have it? And now you're bored of it?" Talo made a face at Beth. "It smacked me in the face," he argued.

Link sighed to himself. "_I knew that Talo shouldn't use a slingshot..._" Beth turned back to him. "Hey, Link. Can you show us how it works?" Link shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." Link pulled back the rubber band and fired a pellet towards the head of one of the scarecrows near his house. Because the scarecrow's head was just a mere pumpkin, it exploded when the pellet came in contact with it. The kids stared at Link in awe. "That was so cool!" Beth cheered. "Yeah! That was amazing!" Talo cried, while Malo gave an apathetic "Meh..."

It wasn't long before Talo caught a glimpse of something other than the slingshot; something that just so happened to be strapped onto Link's back. "Woah! You got your sword back?!" At this, Link pulled the sword off his back and swung it around, smugly. "Yeah... Rusl just gave it back to me." Talo immediately bounced towards it. "Gimme gimme! I wanna use it!"

Link held his sword way up high. "Uh-uh-uh. Rule number 1: Nobody else touches my sword. Except Ilia. ...and Rusl when he needs to fix it."

"Oh, come on!" Talo begged. "Monkeys have been showing up all around here and I REALLY wanna deck em'!"

Link shook his head. "No means no, Talo. _And deck em'? Not sure you're using the right word..._"

"At least TEACH us how to use the sword..."

"Talo, cut it out!" Beth butted in. "Link doesn't have to show us how to use the sword, unless he wants to."

Link took a look back at his sword. "Well... it's been a while since I used it... I really need to get back to training with this, anyways. Alright, I guess I could show you guys a few moves."

Talo jumped up in the air again. "WOOHOO! YES!"

Link rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wished Talo wasn't so hyperactive. Without another word, he approached the other remaining scarecrow. He tightened his grip and focused his attention on it, in a way he called 'Z-Targeting.' He turned back to the kids. "What do you guys want me to show you?"

Talo raised his hand. "OOH! OOH! How about a 'slice?'" Link raised an eyebrow. "Uh... okay. Sure. _The slice? Really? That's one of the simplest moves you can do. It BARELY requires any effort. ...well, unless you're trying to kill something. In which case, just swing with all your might._" Link raised his sword up and hit the scarecrow with a slice across the chest. Then he smacked the sword down on it's head. Talo imitated the moves Link was making with a stick he had picked off of the ground. "Wow! A horizontal AND vertical slice! Awesome!" Link turned back to them. "Anything else?"

Beth raised her hand this time. "Ooh! I wanna see that one move!" Another raised eyebrow from Link. "Uh... which move?" "You know," Beth insisted. "That one move... uh... here, let me pull out the sword manual..."

"Sword Manual?" Talo questioned. "Since when is there a sword manual?"

"Nobody reads the manual," Malo quietly said to himself.

"Uh... it's the one where you take the sword and you jab it at the guy..."

Link realized what she was trying to say. "You mean a 'stab?'"

"Yes! That one!" Beth cried out.

Malo rolled his eyes. "Oh please... the stab?"

Link pretended he didn't hear that. He focused on the scarecrow and nothing else. He took a few steps backwards and then lunged himself forward, thrusting the tip of the sword through the scarecrow's chest. Beth was absolutely stunned. "Wooooow! That was amazing! Ooh! Do that other thing too, where you hold the sword out and then you spin around... what was it called? The Twirl Attack?"

"No way!" Talo shouted. "It's obviously called the Tornado Attack!"

Link cleared his throat. "Actually guys, it's Spin Attack." He focused on the scarecrow again and took a deep breath. "_Alright... it's been a long time since I last did a Spin Attack... ohoho, man, this is gonna be good..._" Link held his sword out away from him. Then at just the right time, he swung around with all of his might, nearly knocking the scarecrow down from it's place. "WOW!" Beth cried out. "That was amazing." Link chuckled to himself. "_I still got it._"

Link sighed heavily. "Alright, guys. I'm gonna go ahead and call it a day," he said, halfway putting the sword back in it's sheath. "Hey! Wait!" Talo shouted. "You gotta show me one last move! Come on!" Link sighed again. "Okay, which one is it?"

"Y'know, the jump attack!" Talo said as he tried and failed to imitate the move.

Link once again removed the sword from it's sheath and focused on the scarecrow. He backed up several steps, giving him and his 'adversary' quite a bit of distance. Then, without a moment's hesitation, he darted forward. Just before he got to the scarecrow, Link jumped up and SLAMMED the sword down on it's head. Chunks of pumpkin exploded everywhere, leaving the kids at a loss of words.

Link sheathed his sword for the last time and turned back to the kids. "And that concludes today's lesson," he said in a joking way.

"That was so awesome, Link!" Talo praised. "Next time I see one of those filthy monkeys, I'll-"

Out of the corner of his eye, Talo saw the exact thing he was talking about. "Hey!" he shouted. "There it is!" The monkey, sensing danger, took off in the other direction. "GET BACK HERE!" Talo shouted as he chased after the monkey.

"Talo, wait!" Beth shouted, before chasing after him.

"There he goes..." Malo said to himself as he went after his brother... at his own pace of course."

Link stood there in silence for a good few seconds before he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply. "Great... that's exactly what I needed... to go on a wild monkey chase..." Without another word, and because doing something was better than just standing, Link sprinted to where the others had ran off to. He just prayed to Din that Talo would give up soon.

**This seems like a good place to stop. This chapter actually took way longer than I anticipated. So, we started out with Link having a great day. He just got told that he had a day off from work and he sleeps in so he can enjoy it... until he's woken up by the kids at least. Lots of stuff happens and we end up with Link having to chase after Talo, who is chasing a monkey. We all know what's coming next. So stay tuned for next time when things start to get a LITTLE more interesting.**

**If you liked this story, then I'd appreciate if you favorite and follow it, as well as leave a review. Please, no flames. I've dealt with enough of those already.**

**I'll see you guys in the next one.**


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